Bella Said

She was perfect… was she perfect? For me, perhaps.

The same morals, more important than anything. Now mine faded, hers stronger than ever. So I save it for her? Do I explore this dark path? Does it even matter? Fetch me my noose…

Her beauty, second to none, I find it stunning and breathtaking,  choke, no oxygen here, … well, that is a lie, as im prone to tell.

Im sure this is no love, or perhaps it is. I don’t know, nor do I think I want to. Is it best to forget? Lest we forget the best of times. So few and far between the lines

She doesn’t share these feelings, that much is obvious, I burned that bridge ages ago, and yet I carry the ashes within my urn of bone and regret.

This sucks

Fuck this

End this

Do i?

No… im not friend to such weakness…. Not yet

I write to release…

But no amount of word can uncage, unchain, unbreak my heart…

Say you love me…..?

Hah…

I laugh for I know the truth and there is no such empathy lying in your chest.

I miss it…

You…

Im sorry…

I babble and ramble on… I shall continue at a later date, if my heart beats, my blood runs, and my mind allows such to move forward…

If it ends tonight… know I loved you all, and every instance of hate and rudeness was merely temporary.

Love is all we have…

A Good morrow, it shall be whether the weather shines on me, warm or cold…

It is too early to make sense of all of this….

I love all.

Goodbye

For now?....

Evermore,

<3

I Was A Teenage Nihilist

I was a teenage nihilist, until I grew, as branches toward the sky, and I realized true Love was my atavist. I thought I lost the burning light of life until I found its warmth once more. Sovereign and soft to the touch. Not a cancer, not a crutch. Brighter than sunbeams painting the plain wallls of my dusty house on those quaint autumn afternoons, such a dull shade of gold and greatness. Such a shimmer for the season of shifting colors. The ceremony of the passing. from green to orange to red to brown to black. From Birth to life to death to dirt and back to Gaia from whence we all came. And As the universe hums such a romantic tune, do not be ashamed when it grabs ahold of you and exposes your scars of a time now passed, now stand up in pride and scream "ive found solace in the lessons, I've found hope within the darkness at last. Now the light of love shines through me." now observe your breathes and learn to let go.

Soon,

<3

Hate In Progress

You blame your chemical imbalences for how you treat your friends

although you claim your actions are simply justified means to an end

youre anti-pop culture trends, youre a mirror of the mainstream river

youve got no soul your own, you merely suck the life out of others, your lips are a quiver 

and for a girl like yourself, lacking self-esteem, yes, you are certainly vain

a flash, you snap another picture, a thousand copies all the same

you beg for death, a grim fandango, your wrists are scarred, eyes marred with pain

although i wonder if its not only attention you hope to gain

fuck you.

with love (and hate),

<3

One Poem A Day

From now on, i will attempt to write one open a day and post it here.
even if it isn't the norm.
i commit to this. though i don't know how long for.
as long as my heart and mind allow it.

<3

Do We Still Love?

The scent of my freshly brewed tea creeps from my warm mug into my nose
unmistakably, you are there, in my mind, as bright as the day we professed our love
you are there, in the background of pictures long since forgotten, blurry, out of focus, yet present
in my dream, do i dare question that subconscious love of ours that we professed so long ago rearing its tried and tired head my way again? what possible force brings these emotions back to mind?
so many questions i may never have answered, by fear or by common sense
i hope, more than anything, that these feelings subside and lay back down to their bed once again, beneath their quilt and eyelids shut tight
this pattern does not need another set, and my heart needs no more pain, nor does it deserve such
and i do not wish any towards you in any regard
though i cannot help but ask myself, do we have enough left to waltz once more beneath the pale light of the stage? or have the soles of our  dancing shoes worn past repair and seen their last pirouette?
have the beams dimmed and burnt out? does the ballroom sit vacant and abandoned?
so many question i may never have answered, do you ponder these thoughts in the night the same?
before all, i must know that, for it only takes one spark to ingrate a flame, even once forgotten, they may burn again
do we still love?



Returned, Hopefully,

<3

(Un)Lucky Enough For The Lightning To Strike Twice

I was Lucky enough for the lightning to strike twice

Following chiseled footsteps of my previous life

The thunder clashed along the path, oh, it lit up my world

A flash of something more than plastic dreams, I was so sure

Though mistakes paved my way, I continued towards the glory

What a false, fucking fake. She put a plot twist ending to our story

Such abrupt did her emotion cease, leaving me motionless

A soaring bird put to rest

Wings clipped, no longer would an aviary love rise above the treeline

Old oak, strong spruce and dense pine, not ever green again

Endless winter, and atrocious abandonment

Life deciphers the soil from the pavement

A forest grown on the apex, the peak of confoundment not the peak of a mountain in the crests of my EKG waves

I wave goodbye to my illusion, set out to sea, compass and confusion

Im due south of heaven and north of hell, I cant believe such lies, ive no soul to sell

Her words are worse than bible pages laced empty promises, for her tongue penned a story of worth, my heart shed surely win

but later actions revealed a weaker heart

a junior mistake repeated from my senior start

though now ive left the woods and I am on my way, dismount my darkness for a brighter day

ive found a ray of hope in my blackest dreams

a faint glimmer of gold, a silver shimmering …

nothing makes sense…

what will make sense?

<3