Pointless Cries For The Sweetest Of Lullabies

Everything has lost its shine
life has become a dull shade of gray
predictable and inconceivably cruel
wrought with laughter and pointed fingers
bent in my direction, the sound waves hit me with a force unrecognizable
so strong and hearty that even the most vile of earths creatures cannot escape nor withstand its fatal blast wave

the mere shame of existence is not punishment enough, no
we must writhe in the filth we have been pushed to accept as our own
although i have made no attempt at action of redemption, the horror or such an atrocious burden weighs on my already struggling mind
such strain and stress cannot go unchecked for any length of time and has, at this point in my lifespan, nearly completely taken over my brain waves
there is no excuse for my placement here other than pure ignorance

control has been left without a map, left to wonder the worlds back roads in search of the answers,
in search of the truth
no certainty is found among the worlds current, washed out and decrepit societies
instead we accept lies and half truths as our law and conscience
i can no longer side step this subject
we live with blinders on and accept the false pretenses fed to us by our media gods

this world of colorless and beautiless style consumes our hearts and our minds
we take our black and white portraits painted by a fool and hang them above our glowing mantel to celebrate and adore
these hideous and pitiful habits must be destroyed

we must removes the masks from the faces of the powers that be and expose them for their true ugliness
wrinkles of world wide treachery adorn their disgusting mugs as they are revealed as the hell hounds that they are

we are lied to
we have always been lied to
our lives are lies
we must fight this battle in the foreground
we must fight this battle in plain sight
we must win at all cost and spread truth and gorgeous waves of light hues he world over

and once the battle has climaxed, only one side shall remain
what side shall you fight for?
what shall you stand for?
why must it be this way?

all unanswered questions... and permanently so...

if i may get any point across in these previous ramblings, then may it be this:



always question everything.












living among the lies and just trying to get by,

<3

The Path Of My Life - Patience Is Key

Now, with the letters sent, in a figurative notion, i must sit here and wait for a response. in all likelihood, this will not occur and i will be left empty handed. in any event, i have decided that in roughly one months time, on the eve of may 26th, witch so happens to be the eve of my graduation, i will review these circumstances and reveal any changes in this reality. we shall see soon enough what truth will occur. i would like to take this opportunity to thank you for taking a short journey with my down the path of my life. volume one has come to a close, yet there may be more volumes included between these writings and the forthcoming review of these letters. thank you again.


much love and always question this life,

<3

The Path Of My Life - A Letter To The Chemical Lover: The Body

No such being has ever created such a passion inside of my heart, weather in love, or lust, or hate. And I shall not reveal witch of those particular emotions enforce this writing. Your always changing figure and frail mind are constantly altered by the gaseous form of a crutch, helping you to stand upon your wobbling legs and stagger down the path of haze and false imagery. Your counter culture views blind you from the truth of reality and love. True love. Even recent abuses Will not recede these words from my mouth, nor aid to slow the flowing forth of this honesty. Your current safety warrants this letter. You harm those whom love you and act as if you are in the right, witch is far from your true form. My love for you Is only rivaled by my hatred of your actions And my safeness for the loss of your previous body, not in the physical sense , but in the mental sense, in the sense of the heart. I now know that you are forever lost upon this path and even with my guiding hand offered to you, you cannot find your way. I am truly sorry And sympathetic, and yet I cannot find pity enough for to constitute the treatment of me from you as an upright walking, forward thinking, and fully developed human specimen. I am an individual, and yet I believe in freedoms for all to be the same. You, however, crack your gavel upon the stained wood and judge me for the so called restrictions I've placed in my life. Citing my lack of compliance to your lifestyle as a personal attack on you and choice. The freedom of that choice in witch I believe and yet you seem so compliant to deny me of because I reflect differently on my decisions than you. I have also become aware of a growing trend within your dialogue. This pattern is that of only speaking to me when an Ill wind blows. Should the weather of your life be fair and beautiful, I've got to business involved with it, but a soon as the storm arrives, I am always the first soldier called into battle to ward of these demons. What is the reason for this? And what is the reason behind the constant fighting as conflict? Why can peace not be a stable condition for you?


Forming my words for a second letter with the same address,
never to be sent, at least not in the recent future,

<3

The Path Of My Life - A Letter To The Chemical Lover: The Prologue

Although certainly not least, this letter was set aside for last because you will be the hardest to address. with certain current and ongoing events creating a layer of sympathy upon my mind and thoughts for you not seen in this place for quite a time. this, and all the scripts sent this day, are for the benefit and aid of all of our lives, and all of our paths, creating the map to lead us to our personal destinations of pure and true bliss. all different, and yet all similar. you, however, have blinded me, even so slightly, as i cannot, not matter the effort exerted to attempt, escape my love for you. i address you now with great passion, and with good intentions. please open your dilated eyes to that simplistic fact.


giving it my all, and yet giving it nothing,

<3

The Path Of My Life - A Letter To The Man Upon His Soap Box

I secondly refer to you in this line of questioning, as you are the most likely to speak of your own ideas, but not in any form of respect. no. you construct an argument based purely of hate and ridicule and attack, rather than one of information and of your message. you create an atmosphere so black and hurtful, that even the dark lord himself, should he exist, would think again of using. with your constant lip service and harmful views, you have constructed an army of enemies waiting for the command to rip you limb from limb and mount your skull upon a pike in order to silence you. but alas, to no avail, as these desires will never be fulfilled, at least not in full regards. as there are massive numbers of close-minded clones just like you waiting in the ranks to jump upon an opportunity to prove themselves as the most hateful. you and your backers march upon this planet determined to destroy what you consider to be wrong, and yet you do not consider others. for shame your evil actions and may the world be forgiving when the orders are given to eradicate you from this plane of existence. may i, in closing, ask a mere one question. why must you hate so? is indifference so difficult?


inquiring into the inner workings of a mind as stubborn as a mule,

<3

The Path Of My Life - A Letter To The Verbal Artist

First and foremost i speak to you, of my closest companions. why does this knife cut so deep, why must you abandon all former hearts for a new and unfamiliar one? have we not been good to you? to your soul? always helping and prodding you along this path we all walk upon. guiding and protecting our ship. all attempts to break through the walls of deceit and avoidance have been thwarted by unbelievable excuses and a personal insult, witch grows and cuts deeper with every word from your lying lips. just be honestest and truthful with us! have we not given you the same courtesy? i shall do all i can to aid in the removal of these attempts to pull the wool over our eyes, all except for the likes of begging, for my knees are too weak from other previous endeavors to hold but even my own weight of gravity upright. and to you, i do ask now, to grant us the honesty and kindliness to reveal your true motive and revive what was once the essence of true happiness. i implore you, please reconsider these actions before it is too late for rekindle what will surly be lost if your direction is not changed soon, and drastically. love is my only motive and master, what is yours? and why? or are you even aware at all?


waiting for the explanation he'll never receive on pure, good terms,

<3

The Path Of My Life - The First Assault

Ive traveled the long, dark and desolate road of whores and betrayal to end up in the state of living in witch i reside at this moment and i have no sympathy for those who have no knowledge of the past crimes ive had to commit to continue my journey, and yet judge and gather false pretenses and a storm of lies on a sea of destruction witch no ship, no matter how courageous, can survive.

i am no martyr, and i am no saint. i live freely and adapt, ive existed throughout all the eras of fad and culture and continue to carve my own path, destruction and agony are not all that lie in my wake. such information will be harvested and processed when the time is right, and now is not the time for tales, but for action. this is my first and final attempt to rid myself of this burden of pain and start upon a new road to joy and of peace and of happiness.

i speak to you now, through subliminal messages, each of you with your own interpretation, and i will allow you to decipher this puzzle at your leisure and at your pleasure.



creating a solution through from my tongue and mind, slowly but surly,

<3

The Differences?

Dont worry
youll find out soon enough
...youre blind



plotting for the next verbal strike,

<3

Venom

To be honest? youre a liar
a disgusting hybrid of fire, and ice
no longer nice, and never in the first place
youre last place, at half pace, you know youve lost the race
youre running from what? the space? this place? the ace?
up your sleeve lies a riddle, its simple, but it isnt your master plan
thats a little bit different
take a life in boys form and with heartbreak and warmth, and finally transforming him into a man
youve claimed three hearts now, beating like sweat upon your brow
and if you had any sympathy, thatd get thrown out the window, like now
ever falling, like my self esteem, ever calling, for you to return again
ever falling, like my self esteem, ever calling, for you to return again
to the depths of regret, youve got none, and id bet,
that youve got a lot less than you lead on
lead on, youd know all about that
pitcher, ball, bat. insert our lives, its a line drive,
my foot off the base, i aint runnin in place
i head home, bottom out, i make it in time, just about
upon the shoulders of the dreamers, there aint no doubt, till the drop from the heights and i realize im
ever falling, like my self esteem, ever calling, for you to return again
ever falling, like my self esteem, ever calling, for you to return again
again, again and again
and now you just wanna be friends
well lemmie tell you somthin bitch
i aint no longer takin your shit
your time is over, and if i had one wish...

haha, you know...






in attack mode and ready to strike, with words, not might,

<3

Missing... / Will It Be Ok?

I miss our friendship
i miss our laughs
the female figure that tore us apart with violence and rage is past
a former friend lead to a path of hate, or at least a similar fate
im sorry, i was wrong
its such a juvenile action and i apologize

i miss the old days
before we were all ripped apart
before disdain and awkward glaces held our hands through time
the good times
the life i never wanted to end
bring it back
retrieve those memories...

make them a reality



i must admit, i am one to live in the past, but i am always looking forward
can things ever be the same?
or even similar
will things ever be ok?

may we speak on this matter?

...you cant even see this...

or wont


or refuse to


life is too short for these bickerings and rivalries

kill the drama
murder the angst
let us regain the spirit or old
or forever be spiraling into the dark decent of petty social crime


when will this end?
will this end at all?
will it be ok?

im not sure

soon the movement will begin

a march on this reality to chip and scrape and break away all this stone to reveal the sweet center of true and real life

will it come back?
will we revive the body of our old lives?
will it be ok?


is this potent enough?
does this venom sting?
no, the venom hasnt pumped yet, soon, and indeed so.
will it be ok?



...no.




...?





patiently waiting to release his poison and rekindle forgotten brain matter,

<3

Sincerely From My Dead, Black Heart

Your apology, however ill-timed, ia accepted and appreciated
on one hand
on the other however, it seems almost to be mocking in tone and more an effort in humor rather then humility and respect
the ultimate disrespect has been shown time and time again and i will no longer sit by idly and take the pounding of the words of a hurtful purpose
i shall now, and until my days complete, stand up, with a rise of power and dignity, and take aim at you and expose you for the plastic monster of lies and chemical swirls that you are
no longer shall take the pain
the punishment
the pride
i will be the leader to the high road, not the same height that you achieve with your crutches holding you up of course, but nonetheless, i do still love you
and with that love comes tolerance
i accept who you are, even if its not who you were
times change
lives change
people change
time is the ever swiftly moving hand of change
but this hand has no color, no creed, no law
this hand has but one mission, in its tired and wrinkled state
to turn the gray to ash and the pink to gray
forever moving
forever creating
forever destroying
this hand of time is no divine being, nor creature of the nether
this is the hand of out one and only master. time.
and as the minds of this and future generations revers the reins and control such powers once thought to be the ultimatum, we may end up with no masters
none
as it should be
shouldnt it?

...


wondering how this will all turn out in the end of ends,

<3

The Beauty In The World

Superficial images glaze upon the dead wood and suffocate the mind of all choice and reason
Leaving us in wrinkled states of paranoia and greed
Always desiring
Always craving
Always consuming
Always destroying
Pure beauty is of no existence in this day and age
Age, a thing that is in and of itself, thought of as the enemy
As if wisdom and knowledge and experience are the evils of life
Such thoughts all concocted and invented by such heinous and hideous minds that even lucifer himself trembles at their doom bringing ideas
Beauty is everything, it all depends on your vantage point and your view.
They are blind, and are in ever growing attempts to close your eyes as well, so we may all suffer in darkness together, but we can rise above and rebel!
Open your eyes!
Never blink
Stare into their souls an destroy their pitch blackholes in place of their hearts and replace them with this
The power to see.



My mind is bleeding out of my mouth,


<3

Am I The Failure That You Always Wanted?

Yes?

no?

im unsure what you want...

who have i truly failed though?

if ive even failed at all

...




searching for the reason,

<3

Home Grown Horse Shit

Pissing down the backs of the american citizens
drinking their blood, destroying their land
take take take!
patriotic manifest destiny
this burning is an infection
no. build the flames of the flag and destroy all who oppose us
i propose a toast to all who die in vein
your cause is of no worth!
no value!
you all live the lie, as i, do in times as well
the dignity of this bullshit parade of unfathomable stench is overwhelming
this abstract train will crash soon
overtaking all of thought and health
leaving us to die in our minds and become picture imperfect health
and yet the babble continues
end this pain
wipe out the old
restart
a clean slate
needed, and will be achieved
either by man himself of other plans
...no one can predict the future and no one can say they know anything in certainty, at least at its highest levels
my levels are overloading, those levels we climb to in the mere philosophical sense
this is only the beginning!
lets start this bloody revolution!
bring the divine ones head.
sever the skull and the ties
we shall start anew, you shall all see.
open your eyes, before they are opened for you.




inciting peace and love and what is right,

<3

Leave My Body For The Flies

Now is my time to pass
gone forever, here and never again
spinning, as rooms often do
my form falls, such as towers can
and i implore you, leave my body
rotting and a lifeless decay
leave my body for the flies
whom arrive with a deafening buzz
destroying all that is left of my sense of sound
eyes wide open, ears shut tight
i see my end before me
such a beautiful sight, for those only of perfection and of the lovely dancing lights
as for a life destined for flames, such as i,
i have no fear for the fall
as none such autumn passings exist in any form or on any plane
a monster i am made out to be
caged and enrage, berated for my beliefs
drowning in the sonic violence of the attack
all falling upon my deaf ears
mesmerized by the surrounding darkness
closing in on cold waves of fading light
fading, such as my life is, and will be, and all shall follow
follow the path of stone and time, toward the welcoming ground
i lie upon the grains of dirt, awaiting my curse, my eternal silence
and in my silence, leave my body for the flies, and only a buzzing shall be heard
and that too, in due time and process, shall fade, as all of existance will
into the reality of nothingness that is death.
goodbye my loves.






traveling the path never taken,

<3

Everything Burns

Everything burns in place
this empty space
the waste
the disgrace
about face and watch your back
the crack, the mind, the hole in time
all unstoppable, all remind me of you
youre a failure, a disappointment, a fraud
you turn to the sky, answers from your false god
silence!
no sound
the mounds of madness
the piles of pain
the endless emotion
all built upon shame, in the river of rain
tears from your face flood the world, and over again
goodbye my friend
lost in fluid death
icy breath
cold to the tough
yet colder to release
deceased
i am pronounced
thank you, fair wench
from this point on, nothing shall survive
nothing!
as we all are...


living in a world of pure plastic, on the edge of melting from the drastic and unimaginable heat of drama,

<3

Damned Procrastination!

I apologize

school, work, friends, my own self, and minecraft have all kept me from my responsibilities and my oozing of art (if you can call it that) on this blog

but to not fret! i have big plans in low places

lovely work is to come

dont worry

if anything, be excited

this future is grand and it shall be so!




working on new creations for the masses (haha),

<3


PS. Aidens new album "Disguises" is fucking killer, its online and on shelves now, go listen to it and pick up a copy. that right there is real, pure, unrelenting art.

william and the boys have my respect, my admiration, and most of all, my love.

cheers!


<3