(Un)Lucky Enough For The Lightning To Strike Twice

I was Lucky enough for the lightning to strike twice

Following chiseled footsteps of my previous life

The thunder clashed along the path, oh, it lit up my world

A flash of something more than plastic dreams, I was so sure

Though mistakes paved my way, I continued towards the glory

What a false, fucking fake. She put a plot twist ending to our story

Such abrupt did her emotion cease, leaving me motionless

A soaring bird put to rest

Wings clipped, no longer would an aviary love rise above the treeline

Old oak, strong spruce and dense pine, not ever green again

Endless winter, and atrocious abandonment

Life deciphers the soil from the pavement

A forest grown on the apex, the peak of confoundment not the peak of a mountain in the crests of my EKG waves

I wave goodbye to my illusion, set out to sea, compass and confusion

Im due south of heaven and north of hell, I cant believe such lies, ive no soul to sell

Her words are worse than bible pages laced empty promises, for her tongue penned a story of worth, my heart shed surely win

but later actions revealed a weaker heart

a junior mistake repeated from my senior start

though now ive left the woods and I am on my way, dismount my darkness for a brighter day

ive found a ray of hope in my blackest dreams

a faint glimmer of gold, a silver shimmering …

nothing makes sense…

what will make sense?

<3

Blood Mouth

The sores that plant their seeds in my moist mouth, they wreak with a silent dissonance, its inescapable, nor would I want to, for I find comfort in the chaos. My verbal muscle, not the chords, but the tongue, it converses with the foul, faithless beasts. Though I cannot fault their existence, for theyre here to teach, to force my hand, born to inspire, built to expire, an oral fixation put to paper

Rested And Ready

After a long break, I've been inspired to come back and continue my works. expect great things, for my inspiration is nearing a peak, oh i hope for a delicious climax 

<3

People Never Change

The warmth of summer drains the anarchy from the desolate winter months, we were just kids back then, now grown up from such youthful darling cunts. We plan to spend an evening swimming in the sea of conversation, arousal of the auditory noise, like our favorite radio station. Next the a roaring fire we were sat, our words soaring silhouettes of acrobats, retelling slave stories from beyond the grave, our mere mortal fears more likely insane, and when the sun filled the sky, as the moon so late at night, its beautiful rays, on my face, they did shine. I made my way home into a brand new light…until my darkness returned to me. This home now Is a house where my phobias dwell, and with one fell swoop, im dragged straight to hell, My empty picture frames stared back at me, their blank expressions taunt me miserably, reminding me to dot my I’s and cross my t’s. 

Something Else

I found love in the fucking strangest of places,

The past? Yes, but I didn’t fully erase it

It came back, but something new, my tongue, It could taste it

Lessons learns from previous crime, no, I will not waste this-

Second glance, second chance given to me in faith, that im a happier man, I might be destined to stay

Though destiny is a farce, more often than not, im at a loss for words…

Forward moving, thinking, breathing, living in the fast lane

My heart is happy yet my mind remembers past pains

I do not linger on the thoughts, but some dark nights I cant refrain

Oh how I miss your silken touch, fantastic thoughts I cant abstain

From heartache to heart break, I thought I seen it all,

Empires of love built before me, just to watch them burn and fall

Crumble into ashes worse than the any flames that hell might bring

Though with this masterpiece weve painted, I can still hear the birds sing their beautiful songs.

finished? I'm not so sure,

<3

No Words

My heart a flutter, my pulse racing for the first time in what feels like ages.
acting as rose petals, the warmth of our emotional embrace blooms with extravagant beauty
the likes of which my mind denies me the words to describe.
though luck, not fate, have any business here, or in any plain of reality, i cannot explain what these feelings mean to me, not matter how true and heartfelt the effort is.
the ability to properly show such an arousal of emotions eludes me, even to this day
however, that does not shy me away from the attempt

no matter the obstacles, our hearts shall overcome all odds, i know this.

beating, breathing, becoming something so much more than just that which pumps our crimson nectar of life from vein to vein
all previous expressions defined indescribable and irreplaceable.

a trillion letters forming a billions words across a million pages incased in hundreds of thousands of books sheltered in thousands of libraries built in hundreds of cities of dozens of countries a part of our one turquoise and verdant planet could even begin to define the truth that is my feelings, but i will never give up the hope that i may some day reach that place.



as long as i have the inspiration in my heart, my writing will never cease

<3

Helplessness

Such a stark helplessness, my hands confused in their motions, having not a single act of selflessness that could suffice my hearts desires, I shiver at the mere thought of such hell, but this reality is almost too heavy for my mind to bare. Shackled tight, this bondage invades the aging skin of my body with no concern for permission, only content to cause the pain that I had so fervently attempted to avoid. For no pleasure comes from these darkened, dinged situations for which I always seem to have a knack of twisting myself in to. By my perfect vision, I can see her health slipping, and, in similar fashion, the health of her procreated youth. I find myself in such daft agony at these scenes that I cannot bring myself to let the tears fall, for such a deafening crash would follow, and shatter the pillar of strength which I have built with my now-calloused hands. As these times pass, I must sit in the flames and wait for her soft and loving hand to extend toward my ashes. Whether that hand is in desperation, in confidence, or perhaps in what we have been sharing all along, remains to be seen, but my eyes shall not blink but never until this foul sickness is eradicated or my beating, bleeding heart is proclaimed to be needed, or maybe something completely and entirely out of my mental reach in this current time will trigger my undivided attention. Yet regardless of the outcome, I shall lie ready for her.

always here for those whom make my life bright and my spirits high,

<3

The Evening (Introduction)

This is the beginning of what will hopefully become a short story darker than I've ever gone before. id love feedback and criticisms. prepare for the blackened side of my mind. <3



      Another average night coming to a close in one of many disappointing lives lived around the world, this one seemingly no different than any previous to it. However this particular falling of darkness would not go by unscathed, and neither would our darling beauty. As the day winds down, A street lined with the brick buildings aged by the elements, chipped and cracked with the wisdom that only a hundred years worth of existence could bring, comes into focus, while the evening opens its eyes upon the unphased cityscape.
      From the black, into the flickering florescent light buzzing its way from the rusted lamp post to the quite solid and quite real ground, the form of a woman appeared, as if birthed from the womb of the beast itself. She waltzed with the darkness; her mission was not quite clear yet as she was merely attempting to gain an acquaintance with the night before a decision was made. Her skin was soft, even at the sight of it, a quick glace melting any ice that once encased and enthralled the hearts of the onlookers. Less cloth adorned her body than what most would feel comfortable in, although modesty was not the strong suit of her moral fibers. Her hips swung as a pendulum does, side to side, and back again, leaving not a single set of male eyes averted. One pair of optic scans, however, had more sinister intentions in their sight than a simple mental fantasy.

The Lunar Queen Of My Heart

Sitting here, my rough elbows upon the windowsill, glancing towards the bright moon, I see her eyes in the sphere, knowing that she sees mine staring back. Our lunar reflections shine on our hearts. Though our evening provider of light phases in and out of entirety, our emotion does not, we remain strong, even when apart, even when the microscopic bastards of non-health attempt to separate us, I never give up the hope that every next day may be our reuniting. For no matter how slivered the earthly moon becomes, it never fully looses its rays to slice through the midnight black, and I follow suit, defining solidarity, knowing no matter how many jokers I draw from the deck, I hold out my own small sliver of hope that my next turn will provide me with the queen of my heart, my darling lover, and that we may rejoice in health and prosperity, for not just our hands, but the hands of tomorrow as well.



I've never once lost complete hope in us, even when my hand was in anothers.

<3

Questions Of A New Heart

Her mere scent intoxicates me, god damn, I start to lose touch with reality, or maybe this is truth and ive been living in heresy? how can one woman provide such divine ecstasy? Perhaps the reason is as simple as her to me meaning more than anyone or anything?

 it never ends

<3

Half-Hearted Rant

Subtle texts with sublime undertones, most deaf to the message unless they are already aware. How could we have been so blind until mere decades ago? Do we blame ignorance or arrogance for this lack of fact and faith in that very principle? I write not to disrespect, but merely to redefine your definition of truth and set right your moral compass. I do not claim to have all of the answers, nor do I believe anyone does, as life’s journey is about just that, the search for ourselves and for our fellow man. Simple fairy tale rederic and a rancid bathing of the brain in iron age myths does not define who we are or should be and does not give us origin. …This rant is of a mute point and would better be delivered on more passionate terms, for my mind is elsewhere and has been for many weeks. I shall continue such torment of the lost on another eve.

worry not my darlings, I've still got the fire that made me a monster, I'm just waiting for the right moment to burn bright on the matter again

<3

Stagnent Minds

Damned be these viral consequences, a whores mouth more welcoming than this sudden lack of respect, for I cannot bare the weight of such actions when the fault is not of my own accord. I merely scoff and shrug off the issue, how can such thoroughly tongued words and heartfelt sentiments be attributed to childish behavior on my part, I wasn’t aware you grew out of discussion and compassion.

Is it simply fashionable to disguise yourself in the body of those whom you so richly despise or are you so uncertain in your stance that youll stumble and fall flat upon your empty head when introduced to the slightest bit of confliction, so you hide behind a false face and never make a shift, even in the slightest.

Such a closed mind could never realize failure and certainly would not admit such a mistake. Shame does not cover the contempt I have for the willingly ignorant, breeding slaves to your fairytales and blinded views. I cannot stand by idly while impressionable minds are made to rot in stagnant non-thought. Slowly slipping into the conformity of wasted youth and wasted minds.

I digress from the point at hand, which is simple and sorrowful. I have no understanding of this new form of abrasion, so passive aggressive I nearly mistook it for hatred. This however is merely defensive and will hopefully fade as health is regained. If this does not occur within a relatively quick pattern, I will be forced to retaliate, unfortunately, with the might of a mind soaked in freedom and the power to use it.

These days in which we are alive and aware need to be days of progress and of love. I see nothing but the brightest of futures and endless potential for our beating, bleeding hearts, but only if we strive toward those stars and we allow these old bones, which are our foundation, to grow and strengthen.

You must relinquish your anger and remove all senses of arrogance in order for these ideas to become realities. I exclaim this, not only to those of my own personal life, but to all those listening around the world. We have everything we need to become what weve always thought we were, all we must do now is act, and quickly. We are what we let ourselves become.


I ramble, but I mean well,
<3

The Beginning of Something Truly Beautiful

Such a bright light cuts through my darkness like a blade through the flesh and vein of my wrist, though this temptress has no hidden blackness, no bleeding aftermath, only holding the beauty and the heart for which I had nearly given up the hope for finding inside. My hands trembled, my legs quivered, and my eyes lost all sense of respect and control as my love entered sight, clothed in the finest of cloths, wrapped in the softest of silks, dawning such a shimmering, golden crown, fit only for the purest of souls. Her reach extended to my fallen body, writhing in the filth id become accustom to calling home, to attempt to raise me from beneath the brimstone which I had so willingly buried myself under alive.

In that moment, as the dirt and dead flesh was being brushed from my person, I had found a peace. Such a monumental peace, unobtainable from singularity, no matter the effort placed into such endeavors. While I had been content within myself, somehow, whether subconsciously or not, I was striving for more, and when my final ounce of hope was nearing depletion, and there was nothing but a black infinity surrounding, a small glimpse and then a supermassive explosion of potential and elegant maturity invaded my near reckless mind and I knew the incredible opportunity and passion with which I had been presented, I would not let it slip through my skeleton fingers once again, no.

Now, as I rest in the garden of such health and happiness I had only dreamt of sharing with another, I realize that, while I denounce such ideas as luck and fate, there is something here which I cannot, even on my most brilliant of days, word and explanation for. As time lengthens, my smiles grow wider and if they are to continue such movements, my lips will bridge the modern world, and you could cross the atlantic and the pacific on my straightened teeth. And we shall, through time, journey round this blue planet, hand in hand, heart in heart, mind in mind, together. My future is brighter than ever and my optical orbs are adjusting to the beauty of such a gift. Never have I felt more at home than within these walls paradise.






No words will suffice,
<3 <------ (more now than ever)

A Bright Beginning

Here i lie, in the unmistakeable darkness, a personal custom I've become accustom to. how slowly does time travel here? hours, days, weeks, months...years...how much time has passed? no sign of light has ever shown its soft face, not truly for that matter...a solid, damp prison built from the brittle bones of my past mistakes, somehow inescapable in my mind, I've come to terms with my new home. a false happiness brought me here. scatterbrained is this former so-called life...

when suddenly...

a ray, one single ray of the brightest go lights slices through the black as though it was nonexistent. the intensity too bright for my now nocturnal eyes. "a fantasy" i proclaim, for there is no such luck to bring me this gift. my optical orbs adjust to the new sight, the most beautiful vision i could ever dream of in even the deepest of slumbers.

just as sudden as the first ray appears, it is joined by another razor sharp blade of light. and then another burst of warmth, and then another, and then it become apparent. i accept the new fate with open arms and a smile as wide as an ocean, for i know what is approaching, and i will not deny it, i cannot deny it...


a new journey has begun.




good things come to those who wait,
<3

From The Narrows To The Worldly, I Must Travel All Roads

I'm under a cardiac arrest, tight gripping pain stretches my chest,
lest they forget to molest and taint my dusty memories
i try to speak but only dead skin emerges sooner
a thick gasp for air, i choke, that lump in my throat, puss gush, revolting tumor
my foe speeding rumors, such rumors lead to guilt
in their minds or mine? where must we draw that line
show me where the fun in losing oxygen lies, i wait in this dirt, knelt
in the meanest of times, i shall sever the slave from the master
my heart, an unruly old bastard, war torn and wreck from emotionless sex
simply pick up pace, or denounce this very race? surly you must jest
burly so called men call me an enemy yet again
is it for the emotions i spill or my appearance to them?
its of no concern to me, as countless years of their hell has numbed me, no brimstone flame can burn now, such retched sows
god damn, they used to be oh so deadly...
a resurgence?

more broadly, in broad view, i see society crumbling before you
before me, before we, can do a damned thing to stop the fall
would we even bother, or merely stare, mouth agape, in awe?
not agape as in whores terms, no the words are far much too warm
such a sexual storm of vigor and fear, what lead you here but false dreams and dead deities?
i musent let these thoughts sear my throbbing flesh as past ideas had reached to be those flames

do i move on and merely worry for my own good, or take the hellish road again, but this time for the people of the world?

right, wrong, good, bad, mean, happy, loving, sad, life, death, pain, sex, meaning, answers, existence...

what do these mean to you?
i must find what these mean to me...



who will accompany me on this life long journey?,
<3

I Question My Past Reasoning

i was a sucker for the synergy, yet you loved me so minimally
though times have changed, our love deranged and managed to bring me doubt
was it merely that i craved towards what i could not keep,
or was it truly something more? i abhor every spec and scrap of this speculation
the degradation, the humiliation, i pay forward my pride of the heart to the lovers nation
i sifted through my thoughts thoroughly, preferably in my off time and when I'm not clouded by fear.



19 years. this is where I'm at.,
<3

Broken Thoughts

as i walk along the evergreen path
i drip with scent from my kerosene bath
the plants rush by and i think at long last
from the womb to the dirt, how life does move oh so fast

the weight of the world i do not cary
as i keep it settled beneath my feet, wary
a constant force, the rock, the sea, the hurt
some days shine as the sun, the darkness serving to make it worse

never a constant dry eye, as oceans leak and are cried
when you sever your heart and your mind, those are the best of lies

some say life can find a way, though the path is well hidden
most happiness, through ignorance, is strictly forbidden

blackness is clouding my judgement this day
an eternal price i have no choice but to pay...

or can i overcome?

yes.




do these words mean anything? are they structured to please?,
hm,

<3

A Quite War Waged

That song, that sound, that scent or that sight, all human senses bring her lost form into light. Opening the eyelids, momentary ocular bliss... Then a peculiar feeling arises, something amiss.

In the heat of the moment, you melt and you remold, a new form, a heretic from tales long ago told. Soon the conflict begins anew, oh this battle so old.

Armor aged past is shine, tears soon wash away the grime, lost in darkness rolling, this journey recalled, the rumbling roar so foreboding... Dark clouds upon the horizon, a former love I lock my eyes on

There will be no winners, no losers, just participants, we chose us, no outside force could create such disturbance, disturbing as street corner suicide, I'm mere holding on until the brightest of sunrises through the blackest of evenings, the new morning upon which we let this die, an eternal sense of permanence... Oh I fear that day shall never arrive. Though through positive thought I strive, a better  man, my heart alive. Above all negatives.


Love doesn't merely end, unfourtunatly in this circumstance,

<3

Age Allows For Truth To Breed

Severed heads adorn the wall, aged beauty in the darkest of shawls, brittle bones click as her fingers twitch, whispering sweet secrets in my ear. I hear... Everything I've ever wanted...and everything I never had.

She spoke such soft truths, though the world would debt such aligations,  though i shall repeat it now, and spread such facts of earth people unto you, she screamed:

Youve got that narrow tunnel vision 
Unaware of the collision 
Rapidly approaching your domain
Is it satire?
Is it hate speech?
Violent rederic from my mouth I do preach
Brash expansion on ancient ideals, you're a severed whores tongue bleeding free
Hell on earth, warn of false prophet scripture, youve been bred to deceive
Though I've caught onto the ruse,
Hook line and sinker, proper disposal after use
I'll bury your lies six six six feet under
Shovel after shovel, simple eternal slumber


I blushed at such words, a vocal chord prowess, showing me through the sea of lies, the forest of half truths, inhabited by primitive tribes. We must move on, progress, build up and confess, that these lies are just that, now we feed from true breats

Knowledge my darlings, it is power.

<3

Darling Butcher: Volume One

Darling butcher, hear my cries, sever tongues singing sick lullabies.
Sadistic actions breed masochistic blood, sexual spasms bring about false love, plastic prostitution for so called lost souls.

Darling butcher, in due time
feast upon the whore, though don't sever the spine
Kept alive to reek and rot in pain
Agony to drive the mind insane
Brake her spirit, paralyzed in shame

Darling butcher, end this now
The screams appease me, do not dare ask how
Bury the corpse and consummate the grave, hell has only begun my dear concubine slave 

Sickness is savior,

<3

Uncertainties

Severed tongues and a changing of leaves
How could you expect any less?
Colors shift, let your speaking cease
There is no time today for regret
Ending the old 
Preparing the new
We are natures heroic few
Unattach from the past
We've found salvation at last
No divine hand needed
Your serpent speech shall no longer harm me
Such trite rhyme
Fuck this shit, I'll start my new life


Where to go from here?

Droning questions.


<3?
  

Flower Pedals, Unacceptable

Watch as to not get Burned.
Do not stand too close to the fire
Love, hate, sex, pain, it's all the same to an outsider. Lost among the jealous flames. Born heartache from a passionate liar. Pinpoint mistakes, as he was born into misery, a goddamn sixth sense granted by history. Oh such a face... If I brought you flowers, would you smile wide and thank me or deny me that pleasure and unaccept the flora, I'm abhorrent. Im a mess with or without your skin. Such silken touch. Blatantly blind lust, it's just a shame we hadn't the vision to see into this far future.

Have we failed or learned the greatest lesson of all, you the first and I the latter perhaps? Decipher such guff yourself young and weak minded whore, so easily manipulated, I shock at such audacity, as you've truly betrayed me. And my heart. Yet I am better for it and better than you.

Leave now and never return, as you are not welcome.



Clawing desperately away,
<3

A New Year

This place is a locked cell
This place is an open wound
No strategy for an exit
No embers for soothing warmth 
Damp
Dreary
Reality
Such shame resides in these walls
For it holds the roof from collapsing
Dispatch all fears as they have no hand in helping here
There is a way out though...
This new age shall show us the path.



Oh the possibilities,
<3