Helplessness

Such a stark helplessness, my hands confused in their motions, having not a single act of selflessness that could suffice my hearts desires, I shiver at the mere thought of such hell, but this reality is almost too heavy for my mind to bare. Shackled tight, this bondage invades the aging skin of my body with no concern for permission, only content to cause the pain that I had so fervently attempted to avoid. For no pleasure comes from these darkened, dinged situations for which I always seem to have a knack of twisting myself in to. By my perfect vision, I can see her health slipping, and, in similar fashion, the health of her procreated youth. I find myself in such daft agony at these scenes that I cannot bring myself to let the tears fall, for such a deafening crash would follow, and shatter the pillar of strength which I have built with my now-calloused hands. As these times pass, I must sit in the flames and wait for her soft and loving hand to extend toward my ashes. Whether that hand is in desperation, in confidence, or perhaps in what we have been sharing all along, remains to be seen, but my eyes shall not blink but never until this foul sickness is eradicated or my beating, bleeding heart is proclaimed to be needed, or maybe something completely and entirely out of my mental reach in this current time will trigger my undivided attention. Yet regardless of the outcome, I shall lie ready for her.

always here for those whom make my life bright and my spirits high,

<3