Her laugh always brings a smile to my face.
it always makes me feel better, even if just in the slightest.
i melt at her very touch, even in the lightest
soft skin, soft sin
come home my dear
come home to your love.
i am off to brave to cold at work for today, only a 4 hour shift though, so im not as worried about it as i normally would be. these subzero temperatures pale in comparison to the cold in my heart without you.
the door is always open for you to return home my darling, with wide open arms waiting for you to fill them with love and compassion and intimacy.
love never truly dies,
not true love.
words of wisdom from a fool.
honestly and always yours,
<3
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Real Life
So many wonderful and insane ideas are pouring from my mind for this concentration photo project ive been given. weve been given.
portraiture was my chosen focus and i want to put my own spin on it. i want to evoke emotions and disgust and lust and hate, but also create a piece people can relate to.
death, hate, suicide. yet, life, love and perseverance.
i want to prove to myself and to others that i have talent, or in the least, a vision, for photography and portraiture in photography. even though i have the vision, im still just a human, and one who hasnt taken all the opportunities for success given to him. .... the blame is squarely with me.
lets be real, i will put every ounce of myself into this, but im not going to reinvent the wheel. my photos will be good ones, yes, but they wont change the world. i sound quite arrogant in my above ramblings. its funny to me. i dont understand why i have this mindset though.
i feel as if im not making sense.
im not sure.
i just want to do well on this project. i have 9 weeks to show what im made of and to prove to myself and everyone around me that i have the chops to get it done and done well. all i truly want it to look at my photos and be impressed with myself and with my quality.
good luck to all in my photo class.
lets show him that we can be just as good as last years class!
or almost as good.
haha
forever and never yours,
<3
portraiture was my chosen focus and i want to put my own spin on it. i want to evoke emotions and disgust and lust and hate, but also create a piece people can relate to.
death, hate, suicide. yet, life, love and perseverance.
i want to prove to myself and to others that i have talent, or in the least, a vision, for photography and portraiture in photography. even though i have the vision, im still just a human, and one who hasnt taken all the opportunities for success given to him. .... the blame is squarely with me.
lets be real, i will put every ounce of myself into this, but im not going to reinvent the wheel. my photos will be good ones, yes, but they wont change the world. i sound quite arrogant in my above ramblings. its funny to me. i dont understand why i have this mindset though.
i feel as if im not making sense.
im not sure.
i just want to do well on this project. i have 9 weeks to show what im made of and to prove to myself and everyone around me that i have the chops to get it done and done well. all i truly want it to look at my photos and be impressed with myself and with my quality.
good luck to all in my photo class.
lets show him that we can be just as good as last years class!
or almost as good.
haha
forever and never yours,
<3
Tired Eyes and Restless Legs
My drive to create is an a feeling within myself that is only rivaled by my love for another, single soul. one living entity.
i feel the music in me. my heart beats in unheard rythyms just waiting to be unleashed upon the world. my lyrics spill out from my mouth onto the canvas of sound and my only hope is that i will be able to write them down in time before they are shuffled along to the farthest reches of my mind and forgotten for an eternity.
the determination and the heart to get out there and make a dream, my dream, a reality, is one of the few things i pride myself on, for i know without a shadow of a doubt that i have more dedication to the dream than most would even consider. i just need the medium, the same fellow dreamers with similer determination and dedication to follow me and we will create something grand. new and exciting, but old and timeless. its influence and appearence. its life and love. its hate and death. it is infinity and onwards.
currently glassjaw is my obsession, with all the old standbys ofcourse.
waiting for the right time to reveal the massacre,
lovingly, yet firmly yours.
<3
i feel the music in me. my heart beats in unheard rythyms just waiting to be unleashed upon the world. my lyrics spill out from my mouth onto the canvas of sound and my only hope is that i will be able to write them down in time before they are shuffled along to the farthest reches of my mind and forgotten for an eternity.
the determination and the heart to get out there and make a dream, my dream, a reality, is one of the few things i pride myself on, for i know without a shadow of a doubt that i have more dedication to the dream than most would even consider. i just need the medium, the same fellow dreamers with similer determination and dedication to follow me and we will create something grand. new and exciting, but old and timeless. its influence and appearence. its life and love. its hate and death. it is infinity and onwards.
currently glassjaw is my obsession, with all the old standbys ofcourse.
waiting for the right time to reveal the massacre,
lovingly, yet firmly yours.
<3
Friday, January 21, 2011
Disgust
You make these boastful claims.
you complain when your comupance is upon you and you feel as if youve done no wrong
...
like ive said ... i have trouble focusing....
tomorrow we shall continue our journey
i love one
and only one
truly
come home.
....this is so schitzophrenic
this whole post.
i will stop for now
sometimes i know not what i say until it has already escaped my lips
sincerely and adorably yours.
<3
you complain when your comupance is upon you and you feel as if youve done no wrong
...
like ive said ... i have trouble focusing....
tomorrow we shall continue our journey
i love one
and only one
truly
come home.
....this is so schitzophrenic
this whole post.
i will stop for now
sometimes i know not what i say until it has already escaped my lips
sincerely and adorably yours.
<3
I Stand Alone
i no longer make excuses. my mistakes are my own. i take full and total responsability for them.
i look back into the past and i see what ive done, who i was, the kind of person i was or was perceved to be, its saddening. with growth comes maturity. the past year has taught me loads and loads of lessons in life, love, humility, and every other subject under the great blue sky
my current status and situation is a testament to my mistakes and wrongdoings and i want to make every effort to fix them. to create something better. to mend fences, rebuild bridges, be the person ive always thought i was but was always too arrogant and blind to see.
for all those i have hurt, i am sorry. my appology is sincere and meaningful and for the first time in ages, i feel as if i may actually keep my word. i feel as if i may actually change. this is it. this is my last shot. i see the finish line of this perticular section in my life fast aproaching and ive got to muster up every single ounce of drive and determination to make things right.
or atleast the way i see right in my eyes at this point in my life.
love finds a way
life finds a way
the darkness shall soon give way to warmth and wrong shall soon give way to right.
i love you all
even if i hate you
<3
i look back into the past and i see what ive done, who i was, the kind of person i was or was perceved to be, its saddening. with growth comes maturity. the past year has taught me loads and loads of lessons in life, love, humility, and every other subject under the great blue sky
my current status and situation is a testament to my mistakes and wrongdoings and i want to make every effort to fix them. to create something better. to mend fences, rebuild bridges, be the person ive always thought i was but was always too arrogant and blind to see.
for all those i have hurt, i am sorry. my appology is sincere and meaningful and for the first time in ages, i feel as if i may actually keep my word. i feel as if i may actually change. this is it. this is my last shot. i see the finish line of this perticular section in my life fast aproaching and ive got to muster up every single ounce of drive and determination to make things right.
or atleast the way i see right in my eyes at this point in my life.
love finds a way
life finds a way
the darkness shall soon give way to warmth and wrong shall soon give way to right.
i love you all
even if i hate you
<3
Enter the Mind of A Psycopath
Life is a strange thing. i feel as if sometimes, theres just not enough hours in the day, time drags on and yet there never seems to be the perfect amount.
my mind is constantly racing and my thoughts travel by at a million miles an hour and amongst the chaos are ideas and shapes and numbers and art and song.
ive had blog type things in the past but they just ended up being me recounting the events of days past, mostly useless, except for my own strange reasons.
sometimes its hard for me to keep my train of thought... haha, sometimes? more like the better part of my day is spent trying to stay on track. focus and ease are novel ideas but are always just slightly out of my reach. the proverbial brass ring always dangling right in front of my face.
...getting on to the point, i suppose the entire reason for the existance of this blog is to express my thoughts, feelings, opinions, ect, ... anything i feel like posting.
i wont censor myself for fear of offense or any other nameless reason.
subliminal codes and hidden gems are not out of the question though. i hope people actually read this, see this, enjoy this in one form or another.
thank you to you all.
youre too kind
<3
my mind is constantly racing and my thoughts travel by at a million miles an hour and amongst the chaos are ideas and shapes and numbers and art and song.
ive had blog type things in the past but they just ended up being me recounting the events of days past, mostly useless, except for my own strange reasons.
sometimes its hard for me to keep my train of thought... haha, sometimes? more like the better part of my day is spent trying to stay on track. focus and ease are novel ideas but are always just slightly out of my reach. the proverbial brass ring always dangling right in front of my face.
...getting on to the point, i suppose the entire reason for the existance of this blog is to express my thoughts, feelings, opinions, ect, ... anything i feel like posting.
i wont censor myself for fear of offense or any other nameless reason.
subliminal codes and hidden gems are not out of the question though. i hope people actually read this, see this, enjoy this in one form or another.
thank you to you all.
youre too kind
<3
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