A Bright Beginning

Here i lie, in the unmistakeable darkness, a personal custom I've become accustom to. how slowly does time travel here? hours, days, weeks, months...years...how much time has passed? no sign of light has ever shown its soft face, not truly for that matter...a solid, damp prison built from the brittle bones of my past mistakes, somehow inescapable in my mind, I've come to terms with my new home. a false happiness brought me here. scatterbrained is this former so-called life...

when suddenly...

a ray, one single ray of the brightest go lights slices through the black as though it was nonexistent. the intensity too bright for my now nocturnal eyes. "a fantasy" i proclaim, for there is no such luck to bring me this gift. my optical orbs adjust to the new sight, the most beautiful vision i could ever dream of in even the deepest of slumbers.

just as sudden as the first ray appears, it is joined by another razor sharp blade of light. and then another burst of warmth, and then another, and then it become apparent. i accept the new fate with open arms and a smile as wide as an ocean, for i know what is approaching, and i will not deny it, i cannot deny it...


a new journey has begun.




good things come to those who wait,
<3

From The Narrows To The Worldly, I Must Travel All Roads

I'm under a cardiac arrest, tight gripping pain stretches my chest,
lest they forget to molest and taint my dusty memories
i try to speak but only dead skin emerges sooner
a thick gasp for air, i choke, that lump in my throat, puss gush, revolting tumor
my foe speeding rumors, such rumors lead to guilt
in their minds or mine? where must we draw that line
show me where the fun in losing oxygen lies, i wait in this dirt, knelt
in the meanest of times, i shall sever the slave from the master
my heart, an unruly old bastard, war torn and wreck from emotionless sex
simply pick up pace, or denounce this very race? surly you must jest
burly so called men call me an enemy yet again
is it for the emotions i spill or my appearance to them?
its of no concern to me, as countless years of their hell has numbed me, no brimstone flame can burn now, such retched sows
god damn, they used to be oh so deadly...
a resurgence?

more broadly, in broad view, i see society crumbling before you
before me, before we, can do a damned thing to stop the fall
would we even bother, or merely stare, mouth agape, in awe?
not agape as in whores terms, no the words are far much too warm
such a sexual storm of vigor and fear, what lead you here but false dreams and dead deities?
i musent let these thoughts sear my throbbing flesh as past ideas had reached to be those flames

do i move on and merely worry for my own good, or take the hellish road again, but this time for the people of the world?

right, wrong, good, bad, mean, happy, loving, sad, life, death, pain, sex, meaning, answers, existence...

what do these mean to you?
i must find what these mean to me...



who will accompany me on this life long journey?,
<3

I Question My Past Reasoning

i was a sucker for the synergy, yet you loved me so minimally
though times have changed, our love deranged and managed to bring me doubt
was it merely that i craved towards what i could not keep,
or was it truly something more? i abhor every spec and scrap of this speculation
the degradation, the humiliation, i pay forward my pride of the heart to the lovers nation
i sifted through my thoughts thoroughly, preferably in my off time and when I'm not clouded by fear.



19 years. this is where I'm at.,
<3

Broken Thoughts

as i walk along the evergreen path
i drip with scent from my kerosene bath
the plants rush by and i think at long last
from the womb to the dirt, how life does move oh so fast

the weight of the world i do not cary
as i keep it settled beneath my feet, wary
a constant force, the rock, the sea, the hurt
some days shine as the sun, the darkness serving to make it worse

never a constant dry eye, as oceans leak and are cried
when you sever your heart and your mind, those are the best of lies

some say life can find a way, though the path is well hidden
most happiness, through ignorance, is strictly forbidden

blackness is clouding my judgement this day
an eternal price i have no choice but to pay...

or can i overcome?

yes.




do these words mean anything? are they structured to please?,
hm,

<3

A Quite War Waged

That song, that sound, that scent or that sight, all human senses bring her lost form into light. Opening the eyelids, momentary ocular bliss... Then a peculiar feeling arises, something amiss.

In the heat of the moment, you melt and you remold, a new form, a heretic from tales long ago told. Soon the conflict begins anew, oh this battle so old.

Armor aged past is shine, tears soon wash away the grime, lost in darkness rolling, this journey recalled, the rumbling roar so foreboding... Dark clouds upon the horizon, a former love I lock my eyes on

There will be no winners, no losers, just participants, we chose us, no outside force could create such disturbance, disturbing as street corner suicide, I'm mere holding on until the brightest of sunrises through the blackest of evenings, the new morning upon which we let this die, an eternal sense of permanence... Oh I fear that day shall never arrive. Though through positive thought I strive, a better  man, my heart alive. Above all negatives.


Love doesn't merely end, unfourtunatly in this circumstance,

<3

Age Allows For Truth To Breed

Severed heads adorn the wall, aged beauty in the darkest of shawls, brittle bones click as her fingers twitch, whispering sweet secrets in my ear. I hear... Everything I've ever wanted...and everything I never had.

She spoke such soft truths, though the world would debt such aligations,  though i shall repeat it now, and spread such facts of earth people unto you, she screamed:

Youve got that narrow tunnel vision 
Unaware of the collision 
Rapidly approaching your domain
Is it satire?
Is it hate speech?
Violent rederic from my mouth I do preach
Brash expansion on ancient ideals, you're a severed whores tongue bleeding free
Hell on earth, warn of false prophet scripture, youve been bred to deceive
Though I've caught onto the ruse,
Hook line and sinker, proper disposal after use
I'll bury your lies six six six feet under
Shovel after shovel, simple eternal slumber


I blushed at such words, a vocal chord prowess, showing me through the sea of lies, the forest of half truths, inhabited by primitive tribes. We must move on, progress, build up and confess, that these lies are just that, now we feed from true breats

Knowledge my darlings, it is power.

<3